The birth of our daughter, Maize Ann McConnon

That’s right friends – our daughter, aka she, aka it’s a girl, aka Maize Ann McConnon. The golden question has been answered. And secondly, yes, Shaine did keep it a secret for the entire time.

We are on day 28 of our voluntary quarantine (also known as maternity leave mixed in with a worldwide pandemic sending the world into a sheer panic). A lot of people are describing their current mode as “stir-crazy.” To be honest, that does not even begin to express the emotions I am feeling. And it’s not just me, it’s almost all of us. But before we get into that and we will, because I am what the kids say as BORED AF, I wanted to write about little Miss Maize’s birth story. This is for those of you who have followed our story, for those who are currently pregnant but mostly for Maize and me to be able to read this together when she is older.

Let’s start with the facts:

Her actual due date was March 6, 2020. This was determined based on my fertility treats and when the IUI procedure took place. There was very little guesswork involved but as my pregnancy progressed the date started to look a little bit fuzzier. Based on my last period, she was supposed to be due March 10, but on her growth ultrasounds, she was measuring to be due February 20… Nothing like a twenty-day swing to know when to expect your long-awaited child. Never the less we kept my due date March 6.

Friday, February 21, 2020

Back when I was in nursing school, I made a trade with a co-worker that if she worked a shift for me in August, I would then repay the favor and work the weekend of February 21st and 22nd for her. I distinctly remember her saying, “You will probably be on maternity leave anyway, so you won’t even need to work it.” — Well, bring it on because I still felt good. Not great but pretty damn good for being 38 weeks pregnant. My shift was alright. A typical busy winter shift as a respiratory therapist, but nothing I couldn’t handle. No contractions, no pain, and honestly minimal swelling, which was abnormal for me. I got home Saturday morning around 7:30 am, gave Shaine a kiss before I went to bed, and he headed off to work.

Saturday, February 22

I woke up around 1500 (or 3 pm for all you non-military time people) leaned over and saw I had a text message on my phone from my friend, Sam. The message was sent at 8:03 am that very morning. It said, “Water break yet? I’ll come over and walk with you. I just have a feeling baby McConnon is going to come this weekend” — Didn’t think much of it, sat up in bed and then wonder why my sheets were damp… Was it from Harley? Big Hars has some serious joules that can hold a lot of water, but she wasn’t near me. Odd. So I stood up and went to the bathroom. From our bed to the toilet, maybe 15 feet. I felt this bizarre wetness running down my leg… My honest thoughts were FUCK, I just lost all control of my bladder, I need to get to that bathroom immediately. I started to what I thought was pee when I looked down, and the “pee” was clear. Odd, I just slept for 8 hours; it should have SOME color to it. And then bam, it hit me. Holy crap, is this my water breaking? Why is it not like in the movies? There was no gush, no massive puddle on the ground.

The next instinct is to call for Shaine, who was upstairs. I start screaming for him, he comes down, and I say “So… I think my water just broke”. Explained the situations and then asked him, “Do you think that is what it is supposed to be like?” Which he responds with, “I don’t know Amanda, my water has not broken recently”… Helpful. A few phone calls later, and that was it, I knew it had for sure broke. What I also knew is I was in no pain. Not a single contraction. Which in my mind meant we had ample time. Shaine showered, I showered. He went and got us pizza, hung up some decorations in the nursery, installed the car seat. We played around with our baby-monitor for almost an hour so we could watch Harley while we were at the hospital. Four short hours later, we decided we should probably go.

We got to triage, both scared that the clear fluid was not ammonitic fluid, but something else, and they would send us home because I was indeed not in labor. False- one check and the sizeable movie-style gush I was looking for happened. That was it, we were here until we were taking home our baby. INSERT SO MANY EMOTIONS HERE. We got checked into our room, meet our amazing nurse, who let me eat. Shoutout to her, I was starving (they messed up our pizza order, and it just did not taste right, so Shaine ate double the pizza), and we settled in for the night. Since I was having no contractions and was only dilated to a “generous 1cm,” they started me on Pitocin, which I have heard horrible things about. I was ready to meet this little one, so do whatever is necessary. — My lack thereof birth plan came in handy because not only did I not know what to expect, it allowed the doctors and nurses to give me suggestions, which as you will come to learn were my godsent.

Sunday, February 23

After getting to the room around 2200 (10 pm), getting settled in nothing really happened until midnight. I was not really feeling contractions but was just uncomfortable, which was fixed by walking and moving around. Lap after lap, bounce after bounce on the ball. Around 0300, I started to get tired, so we laid down to attempt to sleep. Yeah, that was not gonna happen. The pain got worse, but still not really showing up as “large contractions” but was getting to the point of almost unbearable pain. Leading me into an emotional state because I genuinely thought I was tougher than that. Still only dilated to a 2, there was no way I was getting the epidural yet. Not because I was against it, I was totally for it but thought I needed to further along, because the medicine might run out… Oh, was I WRONG! I did everything else I could think of. I showered, took a bath, bounced on a ball, got this god awful IV medicine that does not take away the pain, but instead makes you feel drunk and confined to bed. Now it is probably 0500, and I am in full-blown freakout mode. Crying, throwing up, all of the things happening at one time. All for a measly 3 cm dilated.

I was done, there was no way I could keep going. After my nurse looked at me and said, “If I was you, I would get the epidural, it is ok. It will help you,” I was sold. Sign me up, call them immediately. However, now it was 0600; basically, shift change and everyone else on the floor was trying to get their epidurals as well. I sadly was at the bottom of the list, which meant I had to wait. And wait, and wait. After an hour an half, which felt like years mind you, the day-shift team walked in, and I have never been happier to see two complete strangers than I was to see them.

Sign this, do that, try not to move and wham-bam-thank you, sir, it was in. At 0800, I was finally in peace, ready to take a much-needed nap. I did get that long-awaited 18-minute nap I was longing for before pain. A lot and a lot of pain, again. The nurse, who’s named Sarah, came in and bolused me. Sarah said sometimes people just need a little bit of a high initial dose. She told me she would be back in twenty minutes. Twenty minutes and one second later, I hit my call button. Something was wrong, something just did not feel right. Sarah asked if she could check me just to see if there had been any progression and man, oh man, I am glad she did. She gloved up, went to check, and within seconds, pulled her hand out, looked at Shaine, and said: “You’re having this baby, like right now.” Sure enough, she was right. I went from 3 cm dilated to 10, fully effaced, and ready to push in under 45 minutes of getting the epidural. My body needed it, I was in so much pain prior that I was fighting myself. My body was too tense it would not allow nature to take its course.

Sarah called the doctor, who I saw less than two hours prior, and told her I was doing everything I could not push. Sarah hurried around the room, getting everything set up, Shaine was trying to comfort me, and I was trying to not give in and push. After about twenty minutes and the doctor still wasn’t there, I couldn’t wait. I started to push. Thankfully the doctor arrived fifteen minutes later, and within one hour of the first push, SHE was here.

Maize Ann McConnon;

Little Miss Maize (pronounced like corn “maze”) was born 2/23/2020 at 11:03 am, weighing 6lbs 15oz, and 19.5 in long. She was perfect. She came out crying, which working in the NICU was the most welcomed noise I have ever heard. Shaine did a quick double-check and then leaned over to me as the doctor put her on my chest and said: “This is our daughter.”

Below is the photo our amazing photographer Rachael captured right as this was happening.

That very moment is something I will never forget. Time stood still. All the shots, heartbreaks, painful history lead us to this moment, and even now, almost a month later, as I write this, there are tears. Tears knowing I had to go through all of that to get here. Being a mother has changed me just as I thought it would. It’s shown me you can honestly do anything you set your mind too. You can love something so much you are willing to go through hell and back for. You will stay in your house, without any visitors for countless days at a time just to keep your child safe even if that means compromising your own sanity.

Maize, thank you for choosing your dad and I. I would be lying if I said I was nervous about having a daughter. Us girls can be dramatic, unreasonable, and have to deal with so many obstacles through life. However, from the moment your dad told me you were a girl, I knew it would be ok. You were born for two whole minutes, and I already knew you were my best friend. You spent nine months inside me, you know who I am, and I can’t wait to get to know you. Already have your dad wrapped around those long skinny fingers of yours. Seeing him interact with you is something I’ve dreamt of and something you should never take for granted. We both love you more than you will ever know and are so excited to see what the future holds for our new little family.

Lastly – No matter what you have been through I can not recommend birth photography enough. We have so many pictures of sincere moments I would have forgotten if it wasn’t for these pictures. If you are in Michigan, please reach out to me so I can put you into contact with our photographer Rachael. She is amazing, made me feel so comfortable and helped make our day that much more special.