Have you even sat in a place where you know why everyone is there? Like the DMV, for example, you know everyone is there to renew tabs, get a license, fill out paperwork, basically waste four hours of their life. Try sitting in a fertility clinic as a self-proclaimed people watcher. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in that office, and it’s the strangest feeling. People from all walks of life; couples (old and young), individuals (are they alone in this journey or could their partner not make it?), women with young children, single men and everything in between.
We have an unspoken bond, but probably a bond none of us were wanting or expecting. Some are coming in after a loss, to determine the next steps, others to start the process, a few to celebrate the success, and then the rest of us as confused and frustrated. I want to strike up a conversation because one, I’m nosey, but two because I want to feel less alone. Feel the success this building brings, that all of these struggles, countless drives, pokes, and procedures are worth it.
But I don’t. I sit in the waiting room and observe. Then after my appointment is over, I’m moved to a consult room to go over the results. My room is next to four other rooms that have other hopefully parents in them. Theses rooms are pretty soundproof but occasionally you can hear the emotions or feel the anxiety.
There are brochures, calendars, and cheerful artwork on the walls; pictures of smiling success stories from years ago to just a week ago. Sitting in these rooms, I’m reminded of just how many people have come before me and the dozens who will follow. I remember how important it is to feel my emotions. Let the tears stream, my heart hurt, my smile radiate.
Today (July 27th) was my last I’ll enter these doors as a patient. Today I was discharged from the Fertility Clinic. Today I am considered a success story. Baby Mac is still a wee little thing, but s(he) is real, alive, and healthy. I’ll be transitioning back to my regular OB-GYN’s office, where I know I’ll continue to feel love, be monitored, and continue this journey.
I can’t thank the staff at the Fertility clinic for everything. Katie, the girl at the front desk, who always greeted me with a smile and knew me by name.
The ultrasound girls, especially Jenny who has seen more of me than I’ve probably even seen myself. She offered small talk, shared her life, weekend plans, anything to help keep my mind off whatever was going on at that time, mainly because those transvaginal ultrasounds hurt!
Next, the nurses, these ladies were the ones delivering my treatment plans Dr. Shavell had developed for me. They had the privilege to share the good news and the burden to give the bad. They wiped my tears and celebrated my success.
And of course the physicians were terrific but when I look back at my time as a patient, I’ll always remember the staff. They see hundreds of patients a week, but every time I went in, it felt like they knew me, I wasn’t patient number 26 of the day. I was a woman who’s highest desire was to be a mother.
Thank you ❤️
** Written July, 2019 – Published September, 2019 after the news had already been shared! **