It’s been a minute since I’ve written on here. I have so much to update you on when it comes to the fertility diary results, school and life in general, but before I do that I need to share this.
Below is a post I wrote a few weeks ago on my thirtieth birthday. This post is different than most, but might be one of my favorite ones I’ve written. For no reason other than it reminds me of happy days. Life is one big roller coaster, and most times, we remember the hard, frustrating, and downsides of life, whereas the ups are quickly forgotten. However, I wrote the post below to remind me, happy days always circle back around. And today I need to remember that more than I needed it yesterday.
May 12, 2018
I always write because I’m sad, lonely, frustrated, or completely and utterly exhausted. But not today. Today I am filled with more joy than I ever thought possible. I’m in bed at 8:00 pm on my thirtieth birthday; my dog snoring next to me, my husband only a few rooms away. Cheeks that are red and painful because I haven’t been able to wipe the smile off my face for days.
It’s weird because I have “nothing” more to smile about that last week. I am still healthy, still feed, a roof over my head and loved beyond belief, but for some reason today, I feel more joyful. Is it because I’m officially mature now? That thirty-year-old brain setting in and realizing just how good life is?
Whatever it is, I don’t care. I want to live in this moment, recognizing the joy in my heart and the smile across my face. For when dark times come, remember this day, this feeling, this gratitude to be living the life I live, with the people I love.
Oh and ps. Today I injected myself with my first round of hormones. And you know what I don’t care. I don’t care what comes of it because I know, there is a plan. And I can’t wait to see how it plays out.
That post was able to draw me out of my funk, out of my sadness and back into my never ending state of hope. Heres to remembering the good times, during the bad; And knowing that while today you may be down, tomorrow you will be right back up on top. ✨