When most little kids are growing up, they get this super unrealistic timeline of how their life is going to turn out. They imagine themselves going off to college at eighteen, knowing what exactly their major is going to be, graduating college in no more than four years and landing their dream job right out of the gate. They then meet the love of their life, get married and start having kids all before the age of thirty. Well, I am here to tell you while that may sound like a dream, it most certainly is not reality. First off how many people truly know what they want to be when they grow up and then follow through with it? So many of us have dreams of what we would like to do, but then life gets in the way. Maybe that profession doesn’t make as much money as we desire to. Or what if the schooling turns out to not be what we thought? It is more common to change your college major than it is to keep it the same. Which means that idea of only four years of college, typically does not happen. It is pushed to five, maybe even six years. Then once one graduate college they feel like they are on top of the word, they can get any job, at any company, in any state… WRONG, again. It is very common for most college graduates to struggle to find work after graduating because they are underqualified with their lack of work experience or the profession is so highly competitive that you are competing against 100s of other college graduates. Many take a job outside of their field, just to earn a living and build some work experience. Meaning, part two of the master plan has just been derailed. Next what about meeting Mr or Mrs. Right? — I can’t speak too much into this because I have naturally have not dated as an adult woman, but a lot of my friends have, and OH MY is it hard. Meeting people and forming a relationship as an adult is one of the very hardest things no one expects. Which once again pushes your master plan of meeting “the one” back until your late twenty, early to mid-thirties and then in the domino effect, the stage of life that brings kids is also delayed. So here you are thirty, not in your dream job, single, no kids and wondering where the hell you went wrong. The purpose of this post is to tell you, that you are not wrong, you are closer to the norm than most.
I bring this up because this post comes almost a month after my last post (which I am sorry for by the way) and it is for this same reason. I am a twenty-eight-year-old happily married women, with no kids, a good job, and a fantastic home but I am still not happy, I always find myself wanting more. And the wanting more has nothing to do with material items it is more with myself. For those of you that do not know I am a Respiratory Therapist at one of the top children’s hospitals not only in the state of Michigan but the nation. I love my job; I am very passionate about it because I grew up around sick kids with respiratory problems, which helps me relate to both my patients and their families. What I don’t love about my job is my schedule. I work nights, weekends and holidays. At this point in my life, that’s ok. I am fine working the schedule I do because Shaine is okay with it, however, come the time we have kids I will not be. The thought of missing certain holidays with them, or not being able to spend quality family time on the weekends makes me sad, even now. Which lead me to start thinking, what else could I do to maintain an excellent balance? A balance between a good and smooth running household but also a career I can be proud of. After talking to a good friend of mine, he brought up the idea of me going back to school to get my nursing degree. EXCUSE ME WHAT? Was my first reaction. Why the hell would I do that? School is not fun, the learning, that is fun, but the actual busy work is horrendous. After a few days where I couldn’t stop thinking about, I decided maybe I should do it. Nurses have so many other opportunities than RTs do. They can work in a hospital, out of a hospital, in an office, in a lab or back in the business work as a consultant. They have so many opportunities to keep them challenged and fulfilled, which is something I have always needed. I get bored quickly, I am always looking for the next challenge. Plus with the various work environment, brings multiple work schedules. Back in August, I decided to accept this next challenge, and apply to nursing school. Thankfully the school I choose only required me to take three pre-requisite classes. I took two this past semester and then I will be starting the last one in January.
So great, Amanda is going to nursing school, big freakin deal right? I promise I have a point… After everything that has happened in the past few months between my grandpa, losing the baby, and then Sophie passing I found myself struggling to figure out what the purpose of all of that was. I questioned everything. Why the hell was I going back to school? What have I ever done in my life? Why didn’t I just got to nursing school four years ago rather than wasting time on respiratory school? What would happens if I did get pregnant again and this time I was in school? Could we handle it? — There were so many questions and none of them fit into that “fairytale plan” I had in my head. I mean I am closer to thirty than twenty-five, I still have no kids, I am going back to school yet again and who’s to say I will like nursing more? What if it all just turns out to be for nothing? The more questions I had the more I started to talk about them with other people around my same age and you know what I can to find out? — EVERYONE FEELS LIKE THIS, AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER — I was shocked. Shocked to realize I am not the only one who feels this way. So many young adults, young professionals, and young families feel the exact same way. Not everyone is dealing with the decision to go to nursing school or not like I am but they are dealing with some time of decision:
- To have kids or not having kids
- To stay at their current job they are content at or take a risk and try something new
- To go back to school and extend their education or to focus on family life and put their career on the back burner
- To get married or not to get married
- Many know they want to go back to school but they have no idea what to go back for
- To buy a house or continue renting
- To stay in the military or get out and try civilian life
- To move a few states away or stay and always wonder
Generation Y, also known as Millennials (which I despise that term), are the main group who struggle with these thoughts. We are so used to seeing our parents, the baby boomers generation, have one job most of their life and stick with it. When we get these big fancy ideas in our head we are split. Part of us is very excited about the risk because we know no matter what happens we will land on our feet somehow, some way, but the other side of us is afraid. We grew up seeing or hearing about our parents struggle through recessions, losing their homes, jobs etc. Back then if you had a job you did everything you could to keep it and you knew wherever you started at you would most likely retire from. The excitement for the Baby-Boomer generation came from the security of having a job, whereas individuals born from Gen-Y, our excitement comes from change and risks. Neither generation is wrong, it is just the time in which we were raised. This is such an important topic to talk about because not many people talk about it. They just sit and struggle in silence, afraid they might look stupid, or like they are taking steps backward rather than forward.
I still do not have all the answers I was looking for. I don’t know what will happen if we happen to get pregnant while I am in nursing school. I don’t know if I will like nursing better than being an RT. Hell, I don’t even know if we will ever be able to get pregnant and stay pregnant. What I do know is having these feelings are normal, talking about them helps immensely. So far every decision I have made to date, bad or good, has lead me to a place of happiness. I can genuinely say I have no regrets about anything I have done, which to me shows me when I follow my gut, and try something out more times than not I either love it or learn from it. Neither is a bad option. — Going forward I am going to attempt to have the mindset, whatever happens, happens. I need just to smile, buckle up and enjoy the ride. I challenge you all to do the same.
Oh, and we all must be thankful we are in a country that allows us the ability to make decisions for ourselves, and we are not having these decisions made for us. <3