I choose a name, I created a website, I even linked all of my social media to such website, now I should probably put it all to work and create my first post huh? Well, here it goes…..
I know what you are thinking? Why did this crazy women create a blog? Why does the world need another blog? Well truth is it, probably doesn’t, but I NEED a blog. I need a place to come and voice my frustrations, celebrate life’s successes and have a place to connect to other people similar to me. In a world of over a billion people it still gets lonely. You still feel like you are the only person who has ever experienced certain issues. It’s helpful to have a friend, build a community around you. I for one am lucky that I already have a community that loves and supports me, this is just an extension of that.
If you are reading this you probably already know me, you know my story and know me on a personal level but if you do not then let me take a minute to explain to you how I got here.
My name is Amanda McConnon, I am 28 years old and live right outside Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was born and raised in a small town in mid-Michigan. Like most Michiganders, I love Michigan, it is one of the most underrated states in all of the United States. The beauty of the four seasons, the vast amount of area and terrain it covers, makes it a different kind of paradise. Michigan has helped shape me into the person I am today. I use the word shape because it was not the place I became who I am today. Before we get into that you must know about a very important person in my life; my husband, Shaine. Shaine and I have been together for almost 13 years, married for 10. Yes, your math is correct 28 subtract 10 does indeed equal 18. I was 18 and he was 19 when we got married. The next questions you are probably thinking is how many kids do you have? The answer is 2, but they both have fur and walk on four legs. I bring this up because Shaine and my decision to get married as young as we did is what truly made me who I am.
All through high school Shaine always knew he wanted to join the military when he graduated. It was always his choice and his decision, I was just along for the ride. When he graduated in 2006, he did just that. Graduated in June and left for Army basic training in August. As for me, I was just a carefree senior in high school, sad that my boyfriend had moved away but determined to enjoy my last year. That carefree side last oh about two months before the reality of him never coming back to Potterville really set it. I remember the long days that turned into weeks that would go by before I heard from him. Growing up a “millennial” (gah I hate that term) we never replied on snail mail, it was always instant messenger, calling or good ole Netxel walkie talkies. Which made the wait even more agonizing because I was so used to instant gratification. As the letters started to pour in our relationship shifted to something much more serious than your typical high school boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. My feelings grew, his feelings grew. Three months later he graduated from basic training and was back into society, no more regulations on phone time, no more snail mail. We were so excited. Just had to wait on him to get his first duty station assignment and then we could finally figure out our plan. Maybe I would go live with him and attend a local college there? Maybe he would get stationed closer to home so we could do weekend trips? The opportunities were endless, until they weren’t. Shaine’s orders came through and he was to report to Baumholder, Germany. Ummm excuse me? That’s a thing? We have military in Europe? How in the hell can we manage this? He was excited and I was excited for him, it was an amazing opportunity. What other 18 year olds get to live and work in a different country? So December of 2006, I got in the car, drove to the Lansing City airport and dropped him off. This drop off was a lot more tearful and hard than the one back in August. This time I truly had no idea what to expect. As months went on the distance didn’t tear us apart, it actually brought us closer than ever. You know that quote “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” well it is true. In February of 2007 Shaine and I were talking on the phone, at ridiculous hours of the night of course, and he said something I never expected.
” If you want to move here all we have to do is get married.”
As I replied with “okay.”
That was it, that was my over the top, uber romantic proposal. But those two sentences changed my life. Not because I was going to get married to this amazing guy but because of the strength I had to develop to deal with the repercussions that were about to happen. Today I am strong, stubborn, outspoken and secure, but I didn’t used to be. When I told my parents that I was going to get married and move to Germany, you would have thought an atomic bomb went off. There was yelling, tears and of course disapproval, which is understandable. I was their only daughter, only 17, and now getting married and running away to Germany. However the disappointment and disapproval didn’t stop there. It continued through our high school; students, teachers and other faculty members voicing their concerns. Through our small town, people felt the need to stop me on the street or at my workplace and tell me how I was going to and I quote “fuck up my life, if I do this”. And once again, I tolerated all of it because I knew I wanted it, I need to see this relationship through. If we would have gotten divorced a year later, then so be it because guess what, I was the only one who needed to pick up the pieces. No one else, just me!
Fast forward to June of 2007, my family had finally come around and planned a beautiful wedding in a very short amount of time. Shaine was approved for eight days of leave, everything was perfect. Until the last day, when he told me I couldn’t go back with him because he was set to deploy. He didn’t feel comfortable taking his now, 18 year old wife to a different country just to have him deploy for twelve months. I was crushed, I respected his decision but I was crushed. He went back and I attempted to settle into my new normal. Going out in public and seeing everyone and I mean everyone all mushy-gushy in love. It was heartbreaking. A month or two had past and Shaine got word the deployment had been pushed back until December. That is what I needed, I did not care that I would only get two maybe three months with him before he left, I was moving. Come hell or high water, I was leaving Michigan and starting my life with him. And I did just that. September 1st 2007, I packed one full size suitcase, one carry on and jumped on that airplane with no fears. I finally was on my way.
That is only the first part of our journey over the next two and a half years I would live there. During that time we probably spent about nine months actually living together. Between trainings, deployments and field exercises he was gone more than he was home. Which looking back I am grateful for. Those years made me into the strong, independent, loving, silly, goofy, appreciative person I am today. You imagine living in a foreign country with no family for two years, things got weird. Thse years taught me it is ok to make a fool out of yourself, they taught me that people are going to stare, might as well give them something to stare at. They taught me to appreciate my alone time, because I cherish the time him and I have together even more. Those years helped me realize what I look for in friends and that there are so many good people in the world. Those years taught me to look outside the bubble I was raised in and that other cultures and countries are beautiful and need to be explored.
The Army, the country of Germany, the friendships I made, the loving and unwary love and support I received from not only Shaine but my entire family back in Michigan is who made me who I am today. Like I said before I am not perfect, no one is, but my experiences have given me a different outlook on life.
An outlook I can’t wait to share with you on this blog.
* The feautred photo is probably 8 years old. It was one of the last professional pictures we had taken before we moved back to good ole Michigan. We may look different but we are still just as happy as the day this was taken, pups included!